SEARCH RESULTS

Chloe Lawson describes the experience of feeling trapped in your own house, observing neighbours existing, and life passing by. 20th November 2019 NB- short piece written at not so great a time which, happily, is behind me! Artwork: Part of a series of photographic works exploring dynamics of the outsider and the questions raised of observing interactions without hearing them. This piece documents my mother and sister speaking in our kitchen during her final school exams. There are times when I find myself absent-mindedly observing the lives of strangers through the single glazed window of my bedroom. Small glimpses into unknown lives, mere snapshots of an existence as convoluted as mine own. From my bed, I am as transfixed by these illuminated rectangles across the street as if I were watching a sit-com or reality tv. Separated by street and a transparent yet tangible barrier, I am too distanced for them to know that I am watching, unless they too were taking part in the same preoccupying diversion. This particularly grey and dispirited afternoon, sitting in my whitewashed, rectangular bedroom, I can see a kitchen, glowing with a comforting yellow light. A figure listlessly passes the window at intervals, going about the business of their day in no great hurry. Aside from my deductions, it is impossible to know what they are thinking, what preoccupies them, when their birthday is, if they are in love or lonely. From this distance, there are no revealing clues. Sometimes, they move into the next room and I see them continue their dealings through another rectangular frame. A tiny fragment of their life is revealed to me in minimal detail, but it allows me to wonder. Below, a whole row of windows is lit with harsh, white, industrial lighting. A spacious and crowded office, three rows of people answering telephones, chatting together, laughing, or transfixed by their screen. Occasionally, a small group will gather in the corner around the photocopier, sharing an anecdote or morsel of workplace gossip. As the heavy clouds of the early evening descend, they will all gradually leave and the lights will flicker out. If I were to leave my room, go down the corridor to the sitting room, I could sit at the table and look out at the quaint top floor flat above the dry cleaners. The windows have bright blue panes, and one of them is rounded. At Christmas, there will be a sparkling tree in the rounded window. The room visible to an onlooker looks like a small, dimly lit, yet inviting, sitting room and the inhabitants appear to be an elderly couple. If they looked up from their crosswords, they could very easily see me looking at them, but they remain caught up in their own endeavours, in each-other, to wonder about the figure in the opposite window. To me, these lives are mysterious and remote; their thoughts are unattainable. To them, my life is equally unknown. Two objectively insignificant lives separated by panes of glass. Living alongside each other in such close proximity and yet so distant. Neighbours, yet strangers. I move away from the window, yet the transparent barrier does not always disappear. It feels as if I am observing people in my life through a cage of windows. I am physically present and close, yet something invisible makes me a spectator, watching them interact as if watching a play. In the same room, noticing their actions, yet distant from their thoughts. At times, they seem as far away as the unknown neighbours. To me, they are able to be light with joy aside from the occasional piece of work or relationship problem. This feeling now seems foreign to me, their laughter is something that I cannot translate. Inhabitants of the same house, yet I can see only snippets of their lives. I wonder, when they look at me, if they see me as the neighbours would through the windows? The barrier, like the windows, is transparent yet tangible. I am close yet inexplicably distant. Together, but separate. Neighbours, yet strangers.

Maddie Noton writes a witty tribute to a cup of tea. The raindrops are beating against her head, The wind is rushing, roaring and punching, It thrashes on down from a stormy bed, Her hair is fighting the hood it’s scrunched in. The stairs stand at a height never-ending, While her door-keys scratch a red-raw knuckle, Her boots ache from the puddles she’s stepped in. The door screams a malevolent chuckle. Yet a shimmer of light graces her eyes, Then a click, a splash, a grumble and smoke. The angel that waited for her to arrive, Does cosy and homely feelings evoke. Her thoughts ponder the prospects of supper, But first she’ll enjoy her much-sought cuppa.

Reviewing Chris Atkins’ autobiography A Bit of a Stretch, Maddie Noton investigates the realities of prison life and the damaging effects that public opinion and stigma can have surrounding prisons. Inspired by the song Ocean of Tears By Caroline Polacheck, the artists fused their unique illustrative and digital styles into a collaborative work. The piece responds to the pain of a long term relationship reimagined in the current global context, as both artists created the work in isolation halfway across the globe from each other.The artwork resonates with the book "A Bit of a Stretch": the depicted chains which entangle the figure represent physical imprisonment itself along with the prisoner's ties and struggles with sexism, budget cuts, coming to terms with guilt, drug abuse and suicide attempts which sucks them into an ocean of anguish. Currently confined within the four walls of our own homes, it has become commonplace to comparatively view our own miserable predicament with that of a prison institution, especially alongside a rapid decline in mental health awareness. I had similarly found this a helpful analogy in communicating the entrapping repercussions of COVID-19. However, after reading about the trials and tribulations that prisoners routinely face in Chris Atkins’ autobiography A Bit of a Stretch, this seemingly fitting comparison has become somewhat inappropriate and it appears, to me, abundantly naive to attempt to identify with this idea. Comfortably encumbered on a coffee-shop armchair, drinking in both my cup of tea and the details of conventional brutality of prison life, I felt greatly unsettled as Atkins painted a picture of the structural fragility within this society: prisoners denied family visits because of guards forgetting to sign slips; suicidal inmates ignored and forgotten; officers either drunk with authority or subjected to harassment and abuse – particularly the female staff. Neglected by mainstream media coverage, these residents often fail to arouse our pity due to the unethical backdrop of their crimes, a concept nurtured by modern media that installs fear in us through the mere mention of punishment. However, it is important to give attention to prisons - the squashed and silenced aspect of society which we falsely believe has little impact on our own lives. Yet, as Atkins draws upon, the consequences of these corrupt institutions affect us as much as they do their residents. Upon being sentenced to five years at HMP Wandsworth in London on charges of fraud, Atkins uses his role as an inmate to expose the life of prison community, not from the perspective of an ambitious journalist composing a documentary, but as an actual subject: the prisoner, leading to the exposure of a deteriorating institution, held together by a weak thread of government bodies who would rather shun than rehabilitate convicts. Throughout this book, Atkins collates a mixture of personal anecdotes and secondary accounts from peers, all supported by facts and statistics which add to the credibility of his argument. His narrative of experience is interwoven with humorous middle class concerns and heavy waves of remorse, making himself a character easy to empathise with, especially as we (accompanying Atkins himself) enter a world which adheres to its own rules and customs and receives little to no media coverage from reliable sources. Submitting himself to naked vulnerability, he spares no details and fully admits to his crime, instead of expectantly wiggling his way out of accountability. By stripping himself of any cries of innocence and coming to terms with his guilt, our protagonist enters prison an equal, with no more moral superiority than that of his convicted neighbour. Much like a quivering foal learning to walk, Atkins stumbles along in his prison journey, eventually scaling his way up the institutional hierarchy. It would appear that much of his success, however, is accredited to overwhelming good fortune, rather than an abidance to inmate rules, which regularly rewards misdoings and punishes good behaviour. He also makes note of the privilege he receives in being both educated, white and middle-class which serves as harsh commentary on the backwards nature of this system, despite modern efforts to unpick archaic injustice. There is undoubtedly an overwhelming sense of racial, class and religious divide within prison life. Almost to the extent that our writer becomes increasingly numb to his cellmate’s explicitly derogatory comments, and it is frightening how simple the steps seem to be to becoming radicalised. Systematic sexism is also frequently drawn upon in this text. One cellmate of Atkins’ plasters his walls with atrocious images of naked women and pornography, even reluctant to allow a picture of Atkins’ son to minutely cover a fragment. This inherent sexism carries through in physical interactions too: the female officers are routinely subjected to sexual harassment, which they dismiss with shocking nonchalance. We would not be far wrong in describing prison as an entirely separate world, where moral standards are fractured by unchangeably, backwards mentalities. What I found as further shocking, however, was the passive acceptance of these thought processes. Rather than discouraging misogynistic mind sets like Atkins’ cellmate, this system allows room for this behaviour to continue and may provide reason to the 50% reoffenders statistic. Over the course of his writing, Atkins points to the bigger picture: budget cuts. Budget cuts which lead to understaffing, prisoner overflow and subsequent improper care and rehabilitation for inmates. After two and a half years in the system, our author has not readjusted his moral perspective on the charges for which he was convicted, but instead has seen the ever-growing fractures in the prison institution. His writing is often accompanied by statistical and factual backing, although much of his research notes a suspicious absence of prison published data, adding to an already unsettling array of institutional miscommunication. It appears to readers, as much as it does inmates, that these systems function on the authority of its residents, with the prisoners being assigned power by accumulation of jobs that help to operate the everyday prison life, and permit inmates as much time outside solitary confinement as possible. Atkins writes that these laborious jobs also provided workers with benefits such as access to the phone, showers and a flourishing reputation, which would come in handy when in need of a favour from higher powers. Although mentioned throughout, government influence and input remain unsurprisingly absent in our writer’s experience. Able to maintain a steady connection with the outside, he follows the political career of Elizabeth Truss – the former Secretary of State for Justice – who appears in physical form but once. Her singular visit and hasty retreat are a stark reflection of the dismissal of proper attention, which the prison systems crave. This is hardly a shocking revelation given modern society’s downcast view on prisoners and those in the system. It seems highly unlikely that we, as a nation, would choose to donate to rehabilitation programmes for convicted felons when there are other compelling charities which don’t associate with the notion of punishment and reform. It remains, however, a harsh comment on public judgment that we feel comfortable enough to sweep these issues under the carpet, believing that they have no impact on our own lives. In fact, if reformation programmes were properly developed, our rate of re-offenders might not skyrocket to the extent it currently does. Another saddening fact of this text dealt with the consistent and almost normalised repetition of drug abuse, alongside shockingly high suicide and mental health statistics. The two of which appear to go hand in hand. Atkins’ reoccurring mention of the drug, coined by the term ‘Spice’, appears to be more easily attainable inside than it does out, making drug rehabilitation an almost impossible feat. Beginning in his career as a ‘Listener’ – inmates who sit with and attempt to comfort peers in psychological distress – Atkins divulges into the dark and tormenting encounters that he was forced to deal with on a regular basis. Owing to a lacking number of mental health professionals, the gruelling effects of deteriorating psychological stability is thrusted on inmates who take on these jobs. Atkins details horrifically violent incidents as well as unsettling conversations and makes reference to several cases where suicide and self-harm are ignored, overlooked or simply written-off as bad behaviour. Atkins’ coping mechanism manifests itself in humour and communication with peers. However, readers may struggle to share the joke, especially as we consider the impacts of COVID-19 on these men. Indeed, 23 hours confined within a cell hardly helps anyone’s psyche. As a reader, I was undoubtedly shocked and unsettled by the messages within this book, as it implored its readers to perhaps simply acknowledge the struggles of those outside of regular society and shunned by all areas of authority, which have the ability to help. However, Atkins’ words were not properly brought home until a startling conversation with a close friend of mine tore down the usual walls between reader and writer. She rejected all notions of sympathy for prisoners, claiming that their sufferings within these institutions served as acute recompense for the crimes which landed them there. Despite my attempts to humanise her argument, she adamantly refused to pity the victims of this finitely damaging system of improper care. Indeed, we are all entitled to our own opinions, irrespective of how much they challenge our own. However, the realisation of this general passive acceptance of injustice within prison walls was not properly highlighted until this moment. It made me realise the systematic and cyclical nature of the damaging effects of public stigma surrounding prisons; damage that will cease to change unless our own attitudes do. This book is certainly clever in its unmitigated description of life from inside. Chris Atkins actually ends his work by didactically noting that we should all spend some time in prison. He claims that his experience was revolutionary and educational, proving that documentaries from an outside perspective do very little to expose the corruption of these systems from within. Indeed, it would be easy to subscribe to the cliche mentality of “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time”, yet this overly simplistic and naïve approach to criminality comes from an incredibly privileged attitude. Inmates like Chris Atkins are an anomaly within the system, and he reminds his readers of his good fortune, having financial stability as well as a healthy support network of friends and family on the outside. This is rarely the case for repeat-offenders and it is important to challenge our own perspectives and our own upbringings before we judge others for their actions which delivered them to the prison institution. Maddie Noton is a second year MA Italian and English Literature student at the University of Edinburgh.

Jade Rawling’s poem “The Ancient War” is inspired by the uproar of romanticised battle: “I wanted to remind people that death and war isn't something to be sugar-coated. It is friends watching friends die; mothers losing their sons and daughters. It’s slaughter. We are so desensitised to it that we forget how much it hurts and how real the danger is.” Description: This drawing came from a need for grounding and the reassuring solidity of earth in an unstable time. The drawing may recall a burial, an imagery recalled in the poem "The Ancient War", calling in mind the bodies of the voiceless victims of wars. THE ANCIENT WAR Is there solace in idol conviction? What brought us here to begin with? Among the ruins of a crippled empire, our fingers scramble at crumbs of redemption, hand bruised and bleeding, the blood under my nails will stain, and collect, we aren't heroes any longer, were we ever? Tragedies of firelight and flesh, hands like these, they shake, fingers twitch they remember what they've done, knuckles of spite, nails splintered, unholy sacraments of broken bodies, watch our fathers shake fickle fists at calloused deities, watch our mothers fold flags with their trembling fingers, what use do we have for feeble hymns of wasted faith? Our names written in sordid songs of feeble glory, but look at us, look at us. our hands ready the cannons, they clutch our dying brothers, our fingers pull the triggers, they bury our friends, these hands, these hands, they remember. This piece was sourced and edited by Maddie Noton, a student at the University of Edinburgh.

This poem is about missing someone you love whose presence persists in your memories. Prevailing the yearning for touch and love is hope for the future, which is imminent. Image description: A digital collage exploring intimacy and ease of understanding between two transgender lovers. Long awaited it has come at last Some say it’s stupid, yet they are crass. A melody that is sung all night long From my lips and spoken with the tongue. Pools of brown that have seen so much I am here, but out of touch. Shortly the distance will vanish And the fear of physicality will languish. We have our vision of paradise But for now, the distance will suffice. This poem was written by Isla Boote, a MA History and English Literature at the University of Edinburgh. It was sourced by Maddie Noton, our Stories Editor.

Letter-writing, although slowly moving over to a digitalised format, retains a certain amount of antique beauty. No longer practical, economical or fast, the art of putting ink to paper and sending its physical body across the world is disappearing, slowly retreating into a relic of the past. And yet receiving words from a loved one in a letter holds a certain amount of sentimental value, unmatched by a simple text which disappears amid a wave of others. Especially at the moment, as we battle against a virus that seeks to separate us. In demonstrating the vitality of preserving the culture of letter-writing, I asked many people to choose someone close to them and simply write them a letter. The letters themselves and their responses are listed below and make for a very wholesome reading. Thank you so much to everyone who got involved! Description: This is a sketchbook page with my ramblings from the first lockdown, dated 23rd of April, 2020. At the time I was struggling with lockdown blues, the postcard was a sort of ironic way of venting off some of the feelings I had ... usually sent to loved ones when you're travelling - instead, it's a postcard for when the world has stopped turning. Jonathan & Jamie Dear Jonathan, It’s been a while! Hope your studies are all going well and all going well, we can meet up soon (preferably somewhere else tropical!) for a drink. From Jamie. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Jamie, Hope you are doing well! Can’t believe it has already been 4 years since we first bumped into each other. Missing your craic and hopefully we catch up again soon. From Jonathan Rosie & Alice Dear Rosie, Did I really only see you a couple of times last year? 2020 is blurry. I have been painting at an alarming rate. Next time you see me I’ll be wearing clay earrings in the shape of little vegetables and smelling of sandalwood. But there are other exciting things to come. I really look forward to seeing you, hopefully in a café somewhere sunny and your face not made of pixels. We are doing well. Big love. From Alice ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Alice, I can’t believe how long it’s been- even before the pandemic, we really didn’t make it any easier by being at opposite ends of the country! I hope you’re doing okay considering everything. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that things will be a bit better soon. In the meantime, please keep sending all your TV recommendations my way- there’s only so many times one girl can rewatch Grey’s Anatomy. I miss you and can’t wait to see you! From Rosie Sarah & Rhoda Dear Rhoda, Thank you for being my ‘straightforward friend.’ For as long as I have known you, I have never had to be anything other than myself in your company. We have shared so many things; good and bad. You really are the sister I never had and the closest thing to an ‘Aunty,’ which I could give my children. Circumstances have meant that we often go a long time without seeing each other but it is the sign of true friendship that we are always able to pick up, exactly where we left off. Lockdown has made me miss you, even though we probably wouldn’t have seen each other anyway! Maybe it is the fact of knowing that we couldn’t get together even if we wanted too. I can’t wait to be allowed to get on a plane and come and see you. Thank you for being you. Love you lots. Sarah xx ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Sarah, I’m smiling just writing this as I think of all the laughs and hilarious situations we’ve found ourselves in over many a year! You absolutely warm my heart! You’ve also mended it a fair few times! Many say Uni days comprise the best days of one’s life. Considering our amazing friendship which emerged from those days, I completely agree! You’ve held my hand, walked beside me, and ‘had my back’ through fabulous times, tough, grief-stricken times, and those times when I hadn’t a clue what was coming next! Your words of wisdom and support are here in my head and heart. I carry you with me, and for that, I am very grateful! I simply can’t wait for us to be sitting in the same room again and chatting from dawn until dusk! All my love coming right at you! You are a truly wonderful, beautiful being! Rhoda xxx Isla & Issy Dear Issy, Thank you for being a friend during these strange times. I miss going to galleries and talking about art and history with you. Here’s to the future... Love Isla ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Isla, Thank you for your friendship my lovely. I hope to see you soon and make pizzas and watch movies again. The future will be better. Issy xx Athene & Ellie Dear Ellie, I know I obviously saw you at Christmas and in the Summer, but this is probably the longest time we've gone without seeing each other over the course of a year. I feel like I am missing a lot of your day-to-day life and the updates I would normally hear about if we lived together (not that that has really happened post boarding school). I am gutted not to have ever seen your old flat or properly met your whole work team or even all your flatmates. Having just received the book and postcard you sent me, I think book sharing is the way to go - we can actually put our degrees to use after all these years (I say this while deliberately not writing my essay due in 5 days). Rest assured you'll receive some more letters from me and maybe even a book if I too can work out how to post a parcel. Loads and loads of love, Athene ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Bean, In reality, we would normally only see each other once or twice a year anyway, and I reckon we’ve probably been in touch far more than usual over the course of the old corona-chaos... But just like those videos of small children being told not to eat sweets, not being allowed to do something triggers something of an obstinate response and I can’t wait to give you a hug and question your clothing choices. It’s been too long. It has been a treat to chat more this year and I’ve really enjoyed our book-club-via-voice-notes. I’d like to put in a request for this to continue post-pandemonium, if only for the perk of good book recommendations. Ironically, I’ve said a lot of this in the actual letter I actually sent you last week. Hey ho and away we go. From Ellie Tom & Eavie Dear Eavie, It's strange to me how little I've seen you over the last year. It's weird that we saw each other a week or so before lockdown 1, almost a year ago, and only once since then. It's been strange not getting to experience your unique and fun company and I really miss it and you. Even though it's hard to find opportunities to see each other, I can't wait for the day it happens again. From Tom ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Tom, I love that when we're together we either end up lying on the floor dying of laughter or else literally almost dying. Dying aside, thank you for always being just a phone call away and giving me (annoyingly) reasonable solutions to all my problems. I miss you and I can't wait to see you again, Love Eavie. Poppy & Alice Dear Alice, I'm so glad we got to see each other at Christmas, hopefully it won't be long before we're both home again. It's been a difficult year but I'm looking forward to the time when we'll be able to visit each other and go to gigs and on holiday again. All my love, Poppy ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Poppy, I’m so proud of how well you’ve been doing with your degree. I can’t wait until we can go out and celebrate your exam results properly! I miss you! From Alice Bea & Maddie Dear Bea, I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud and inspired by an individual as beautiful and selflessly kind-hearted as you. I feel blessed to have grown up alongside you and I treasure all our moments and memories together (many yet to come!). Although physically we’re currently at opposite ends of the UK, our frequent facetimes and virtual catch ups never fail to brighten my day and hopefully soon I’ll drag you up to Edinburgh – seriously, bring a jacket: it’s cold. Your unwavering support and friendship mean more to me than I can hope to contain within a few sentences, but you should know that I am thoroughly grateful for your presence in my life. Thanks for that gal! It seems strange to long for a return to normality – whatever that means – but far from separate us, this abnormal year has only made me more aware of how close we are and how much I’m looking forward to catching up over a good deal of wine and cake. All my love, Maddie x ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Maddie, I wanted to write this letter to you in appreciation of everything you are! I have had the pleasure of growing up with you through our early teen years to now, years that truly shape our aspirations and how we want to be in life. This I am so grateful for, as your kindness, diligence and adventurousness really inspire me to look at life with different perspectives and these perspectives will forever stay with me. It makes me so happy to see you going after your goals while being your wonderful self along the way. I am so proud of you. Although this past year has been different, I love our facetimes and virtual movie nights so much that for those moments, I forget just how much I miss being with you in person! I can’t wait to be able to see you in Edinburgh and to create more memories, which in times when we can’t do all that much, I especially enjoy reminiscing on. Love, Bea Maddie Noton is a second year MA Italian and English Literature student at the University of Edinburgh. This piece was edited by Tamara El-Halawani.

Kirsten Provan explores the mental health of Amazon Prime's Mr Robot and how the series portrays dissociative identity disorder. 'The title of this piece translates as 'numb' in Irish. The artwork shows a sense of fragmentation of self that often comes with mental illness. I have depicted the fragmentation through imagery.' Amazon Prime’s Mr Robot is many things. It’s a high-stakes hacker show that manages to be both incredibly cinematic and fundamentally indie. It’s a cult classic with a killer soundtrack and a diverse cast. It’s essentially Fight Club for the depressed, tech-obsessed, streaming generation. It’s gripping. It’s exciting. It leaves you completely breathless. In all four seasons, it never once drops the ball. But, as well as all that, it also offers the most accurate, sensitive portrayal of mental illness that I have seen on both the big and small screens in recent years. Rami Malek, of Bohemian Rhapsody fame, stars as Elliot Alderson, an anxiety-and-depression-ridden, hacker-extraordinaire suffering with a severe dissociative identity disorder. Embroiled in a plot to outsmart and burn down capitalist society, it’s fair to say that Elliot is a bit of a mess, and he’s in way over his consistently-unreliable head. It also offers the most accurate, sensitive portrayal of mental illness that I have seen on both the big and small screens in recent years. Malek’s performance ranges from the stammering, bumbling, rom-com-era Hugh Grant-type; to badass hacker stepping into his place as the Chosen One, à la The Matrix’s Neo; to emotive, troubled young man struggling to survive in a corrupt world where both society and his mind seem pointedly against him. In the starring role, Malek is the whole package, and his navigation of Elliot’s mental health issues only gets better as the series goes on. Mental illness, particularly dissociative identity disorder, has truly made a name for itself on the silver screen, utilised, more often than not, for horror or suspense purposes. With the popularity of films such as M. Night Shyamalan’s Split and even David Fincher’s Fight Club, such issues are consistently reduced to little more than a plot device, where protagonists are either something to be feared or are miraculously cured by the time the credits roll. Crucially, Mr Robot doesn’t do this. At no point is the audience scared of Elliot; at no point does he not feel human. The series creator Sam Esmail is careful never to exploit his central character for a cheap thrill. Across the four seasons, we see Elliot muddle along with therapy, turn to drugs to cope, and suffer one breakdown after another. While the premise of the show may be a highly illegal, highly dangerous hack, the real story lies in one man’s quest for sanity. And he’s not alone. In this world governed by social pressures, social media, and the need to constantly be connected, it’s no surprise that every single character is falling apart at the seams. Across the board, poor mental health is used not for plot or drama or tear-jerking scenes, but to flesh out the characters, allowing them to grow into people that viewers can empathise with and struggle alongside. Esmail deftly navigates the fine line between important representation and voyeurism. The balance between heart-racing action and more quiet, emotional moments, is perfectly struck so that the instances in which characters are vulnerable never need to be overly dramatised. Throughout the series, Malek’s character is constantly speaking to us, the audience, referring to us as ‘friends’, creating an environment in which we feel secure. As such, Mr Robot simultaneously offers escapism through its intricate, adrenaline-inducing storylines, and acts as a safe space for those struggling with a bad brain day/week/month/year; it’s a place in which we can feel understood. Esmail deftly navigates the fine line between important representation and voyeurism. As someone who’s having a bad brain decade, I typically don’t love shows which go down the mental health route, and as we collectively become more aware of how widespread such issues are, this kind of television seems to crop up all the more. Seriously, I don’t think I can watch another bad depiction of PTSD, panic attacks, or a spot of depression that sticks around for a few episodes to create a bit of drama, only to never be mentioned again. For me, Mr Robot is not guilty of this. There is no magic cure for Elliot’s condition, there are peaks and troughs and there are times when he spirals out of control, but it never feels overdone. In our contemporary society, everyone is struggling with something, and Sam Esmail uses this to connect us with his characters, and in return, he offers up a sliver of hope. Despite our brokenness, despite the dark tunnels we fall down, we will always have these moments of pure, unabashed joy. In our contemporary society, everyone is struggling with something, and Sam Esmail uses this to connect us with his characters, and in return, he offers up a sliver of hope. And despite the heavy subject matter, we do get joy from Mr Robot. Every aspect of the show, from the supporting cast to the scripts, the cinematography to the soundtrack (which cheekily features Pixies in homage to Fincher’s classic), works in harmony to create an unmissable drama; truly the most accomplished piece of television I have seen in recent years. The portrayal of mental health is unapologetic and real; the questions raised about the state of contemporary society are poignant and ever-relevant. Whether its Sam Esmail himself stepping in front of the camera in the final series to say “goodbye, friend” to his protagonist, or Malek spending one episode running for almost an hour straight (from the police, he’s not doing Couch to 5K), this show has the potential to give you chills and leave you completely breathless all at the same time. The portrayal of mental health is unapologetic and real; the questions raised about the state of contemporary society are poignant and ever-relevant. Running for only four series and stopping whilst the programme still thrills, Mr Robot is a rare breed. Such a positive, sympathetic depiction of mental illness really highlights how far we’ve come since Edward Norton effectively punched himself in the ear. While we can’t talk about Fight Club lest we break both the first and second rules, Esmail makes it crystal clear that we should be talking about mental health. In amongst all the hacking and the cybercrime, we learn two very important things: we are not robots, and we all desperately need therapy. Kirsten is a Creative Writing MSc student at the University of Edinburgh.

Maddie Noton details the unrealistic portrayals of body image and falsified media through photoshop and the online world. As a 19-year old female student and regular user of social media networking sites such as Instagram, I am a typical target of countless marketing endorsements circulating image and appearance: makeup advertisements; nutritional posts; tips on how to alter and amend cellulite, fat or other bodily aspects of myself deemed unattractive by modern social standards. Alongside a constant stream of obnoxious, artificial pop-ups encouraging me to subscribe to their lifestyle-altering fitness programmes are the continual posts from celebrities, social media influencers and public role models sporting glamorous self-portraits of their sculpted physiques, picture-perfect faces and enviable lifestyles. Although perhaps harmlessly seeking admiration from fans and followers, these photos have some dark and dangerous repercussions; ones that have provoked discussion both online and in the less-so picturesque reality. Although perhaps harmlessly seeking admiration from fans and followers, these photos have some dark and dangerous repercussions Taking flight in the early 1990s, the term “Photoshop” has become increasingly colloquial alongside the ever-developing digital age. Despite sparking controversy, most often when detected in poorly edited images posted by online icons, photoshopping itself is routinely used by individuals and professionals alike. A recent proposal by a UK MP has called into question the ethics of this method. It detailed that online users should be forced to make their photoshopped, airbrushed and otherwise modified images public knowledge. Perhaps through the appearance of a symbol or watermark attached to the photo in question. Something recognisable to adoring fans – those who long for the unachievable features presented before them. This suggestion follows the claim that links the deterioration of mental health with the steady growth of falsified images rotating across our screens like clockwork. However, this supposedly sensible retaliation to unrealistic beauty standards has highlighted a number of issues surrounding not only body image and the pressure to conform, but also the general lack of authority we possess over the Internet itself. Would this punctuate the idealistic fantasy we have of celebrities? Do we not already live in an accepted, online universe where the ability to digitally organise our online presence according to modern beauty standards is worshipped and endorsed? Sites such as Pinterest and Instagram financially thrive off their organised aesthetics, filtered images and attractive digital spaces. Furthermore, how would we go about policing and monitoring these images? The authority that sites hold over every post put online does not stretch nearly as far and wide enough as would be needed. The internet has intrinsically spun its (worldwide) web into every corner of our lives and it would seem perhaps unreasonable to expect popular networking sites to ensure all images which we are exposed to have been checked and regulated by a “photoshop-regulating committee”. Do we not already live in an accepted, online universe where the ability to digitally organise our online presence according to modern beauty standards is worshipped and endorsed? However, some may view this new implementation as beneficial on a wider scale. It could target bigger companies and co-operations who market themselves through a dominant online presence. Advertisements may have to submit to this the next time they edit a flat tummy in the hope of promoting their dieting regimes. Certainly, we cannot police each individual post; most of us are not even aware of the number of images we are exposed to on a daily basis. Yet the widely distributed ones, posted by established online presences and seen by many could be more affected by this proposal. Imagine: a social media star poses in front of a camera, assisted by an already facial-flaw-erasing glamour squad and directed by a professional photographer, who has built his/her career on how to look in the modern age. The photos, taken alongside a complimenting backdrop and angled to exaggerate idealised features, are then worked upon by a team of editing professionals. They wipe away unflattering moles, spots and pores all with a couple of clicks and subconsciously perpetuate the unnatural as the ideal. These edits and touch-ups are so small and subtle, they become unnoticeable to the untrained eye. The products of their work become the subject of internationally sold magazines, distributed across communities both on and offline. Meanwhile a vulnerable young adult (for example) receives a notification which informs him/her that their favourite celebrity has posted a photo. It depicts a version of a human which ticks all the boxes of how we physically manifest beauty in the 21st century. It has over a thousand likes and comments and is steadily gaining in numeric popularity. Perhaps they scroll past this image, acknowledging its disproportionate relationship with a realistic human. But it’s unlikely. Perhaps they refuse dinner tonight, feasting instead on sites which glorify unhealthy dieting regimes. These edits and touch-ups are so small and subtle, they become unnoticeable to the untrained eye...It depicts a version of a human which ticks all the boxes of how we physically manifest beauty in the 21st century. It has over a thousand likes and comments and is steadily gaining in numeric popularity. This (perhaps extreme) example draws attention to the damaging nature of photoshop. It is, however, not the intention of this idea to eradicate the use of image-editing apps and indeed, many are used for entertainment purposes whereby the editing itself is the subject of interest rather than producing an achievable reality which we seek to replicate. Where the presence of an icon alerting viewers to its edits could be argued as informative, this proposal seems a logical response to the demands of beauty in an already pressurising society. We cannot deny the powerful influence that online media has over our lives, and its effects should therefore be taken into consideration, especially as generations are now growing up alongside a world of media marketing and new technological advances. This regulation aims to move away from unrealistic portrayals of both body image and general falsified media which we regularly come into contact with. Although the likelihood of this rule being taken any further than word-of-mouth is small, it remains a poignant discussion-topic on the dangers of photoshop and perhaps discourages us from using it altogether: refocusing and re-grounding viewers’ perception on reality and fantasy.

A prose piece by Anne Anjali on being comfortable with yourself and embracing change. All of us admire and want the best version of something, like someone who mesmerises a person with curly hair or silky straight hair but not the person with the person in between. Similarly, people recognise only if you are a loser or a winner and not an average; little do they fail to realise that these are the people who might be happy with themselves. It’s an ego that tells us to be better or the best in the world. In life, we fail to recognise the true purpose, like happiness but in turn, look for something that the society expects from us. We are the puppets of the people around us and dance according to their tunes - why shall we not create our own story or tune and music to rejoice over? I confess I was also the one who wanted the world to know me and recognise me as great and unique. But why did I not know that uniqueness lies when realising what my happiness and purpose lie in? I want to say out loud to the world that I don’t want to be recognised by the whole world but I want just someone to recognise me in the way I am and love me so. Yes, of course, in my life these might be impermanent things that keep changing in every phase of my life. As the saying goes, “Nothing is permanent, except change” and I want to embrace the change that destiny decides and all that life offers me. Isn’t it just easy to say all this but tough to do this?…Yes. I also truly believe that you should say it only when you do it or intend to. My Mum keeps telling me that ‘Faith is the opposite of fear; let troubles rest upon you but never lose faith because it’s just another go at God making you tougher.’ Anne is a student at the Father Muller Medical College in Mangalore, India. This piece was edited by Tamara El-Halawani.

How an unprecedented election has followed a very American pattern by Timur von Polach Description: Made on photoshop "Downfall" illustrates Donald Trump's fall from grace in the uncertain environment we currently find ourselves, how this "fall" will manifest itself remains unknown for now. Trump's continuing denial of his position demonstrates his god-like complex and causes us to question, not for the first time, the true meaning of his intentions. With Joe Biden’s electoral win as the 46th President of the United States, President Donald Trump has achieved a new political hat-trick as the only President to; have lost the popular vote; be successfully impeached by Congress and not to have won a second term in office. With the precedent of 2016, this election cycle held more anticipation, compounded by both parties arguing that the future of America itself was at stake. It was also in no way the victory that many had expected and has again humiliated pundits, guilty of making the same fundamental mistakes that did not even consider a Trump victory in 2016. Trump has achieved a new political hat-trick as the only President to; have lost the popular vote; be successfully impeached by Congress and not to have won a second term in office. An article by The Washington Post recently showed that, due to the electoral college, a vote in Wyoming is worth 3.6 times the vote of a Californian. Once again, this election has brought the demographics of America and their importance to an election campaign into sharp relief. Joe Biden clearly out-performed Hillary Clinton due to his particular appeal and success with suburban and rust-belt voters, just as President Obama had done in 2008 and 2012, but which Clinton had fatally lost in 2016. This even included the Republican heartland of Georgia, which has not voted Democrat in three decades. Were Georgia to flip, commentators have coined it as Trump’s defeat, at the last minute, by a dead man; the late former Democratic congressman and civil rights leader John Lewis, who’s Georgian 2nd District was the turning point in the state. There are many reasons why Biden won, far too many for any singular commentary to account for. Personally, I cannot overstate the role of COVID-19 and the importance of the suburban and rust belt voters who have decided (at least) the past four elections. By the same token, it is wrong to believe that there was anything special about the Biden campaign - to many it offered more of the pre-Trump status quo. The best way to view this election therefore, as both Biden himself and the Associated Press put it, was as a referendum on the Trump presidency. I cannot overstate the role of COVID-19 and the importance of the suburban and rust belt voters who have decided (at least) the past four elections. We saw record voter turnout this year, as more people have been drawn into the political conversation in these tumultuous times. Perhaps, it was these people who were the true “silent majority”, who did not anticipate a Trump win in 2016 and have rallied around supporting or tearing down one of (if not the most) controversial American President. It should also be noted that this is one of the rare cases in American history where an opposing party or President has been elected during a time of national crisis, as crises typically favour those already in power. In 2016, Trump ran on a campaign disabusing the American people of the idea that politicians were best at running the country, and that a (perceived) successful outsider could rewrite the rules on governance. His campaign was also deeply racial. He became the Republican nominee, despite the self-proclaimed 2012 Republican Party “autopsy”, which dictated a “...need to reach out to minorities”. As Harvard law professor Michael Klarman told Business Insider: “What Trump intuited was that he could, instead, double down on a disaffected white electorate”, as well as negative partisanship for the Republican party (whereby even if voters did not explicitly support him, they resented the Democratic candidate and party more) to squeeze out a final electoral victory. As the London School of Economics observed; ‘Instead of running on a platform that amounts to “more of the same”, a party with a damaged reputation can propose a radical alternative. With this policy shift, the party sheds its old image as a purveyor of poor-quality mainstream policies and gains a new reputation as the party best qualified to deliver sweeping change. We call this phenomenon “tactical extremism”.’ A practice, they allege, which began with the Republican Party in the 1960s. However, after 4 years of polarisation, consistent scandal, a pandemic and, frankly, a lack of governance (Trump has enacted the fewest actual laws of any first term President), a second term was not to be. Political commentators on the States, particularly those who foresaw President Trump’s shock 2016 win, have frequently cited a “pendulum-esque” model regarding the Presidency and public opinion. Each swing to the left has been followed by a sharper, more extreme swing to the right. Carter, immediately followed by Reagan, and Obama by Trump are the two most prominent examples. Obama has even pointed to this in his recent memoir, ‘A Promised Land’, writing: “American’s [were] spooked by [a] black man in White House” and that “[his] presence in the White House created a deep seated panic”. But, just as Reagan’s wave of conservatism (which ended with the presidency of his Vice-President George H. W. Bush) would be beaten by a moderate Bill Clinton, so too would Trump’s campaign be defeated by a moderate Joe Biden. It seems then, that the antidote to extremism is a moderate candidate, not extremism in return, as many had thought. It seems then, that the antidote to extremism is a moderate candidate, not extremism in return, as many had thought. However, this tight win by the Democrats is still damning. With such a close election, it is easy to imagine a climate without COVID-19 in which President Trump might have easily won re-election. The economy, and his handling of it, was after all his rallying cry. Furthermore, it is unclear to what extent this is a Democrat victory, as although the presidency is wrapped up, Democrats have performed poorly down-ballot (thanks, in no small part, to the extreme Republican gerrymandering of Senate districts). The Congressional (above) and Senate (below) results paint a gloomy picture for the Democratic Party. This means that they have a slim control of Congress (having in fact lost seats), but not the Senate as expected. Any commentator cannot overlook the fact that without the Senate, Biden flirts with the same powerlessness for which the more popular President Obama drew criticism from both sides of the aisle from 2011 onwards. However, as Senator Sanders told CNN: “Trump has shown the power of the executive order” and it falls to Biden how he wishes to use the same power. The true election will, therefore, only finish in January, with the conclusion of Trump’s legal challenges and the final elections for the Senate. Interestingly, Republican sources suggest that the main reason for Republican support of Trump’s electoral disputes is to gain his approval so that he might help to continue campaigning for a Republican control of the Senate in January. The sights also now narrow on the race for 2024. At 78 years old, the oldest elected President, Joe Biden’s second election campaign at 82 years old troubles credulity. It seems highly unlikely that Trump will run either, with the possibility that by 2024 he could be a convicted felon (if not pardoned by himself or declared innocent by his many appointed and loyal judges). Questions are, therefore, raised for the future of both parties. The Republican party has not groomed a true thought leader, other than Trump, the likes of which Senator Bernie Sanders brought to the Democratic party. While it should have been obvious that an independent, self-proclaimed socialist senator from Vermont would not win a presidency in America, he has invigorated the Democratic party’s future. The choice for the Democrats therefore, falls into two categories. The first, a centrist approach, for which Kamala Harris could be a clear choice, now armed with evidence that this approach can win, which was doubted by the radical arm of the Democratic party. Or, the second, a grass-roots powered, progressive, Sanders-esque candidate. President-elect Biden will elucidate much of the future of the party as his cabinet manifests as well. The sights also now narrow on the race for 2024. At 78 years old, the oldest elected President, Joe Biden’s second election campaign at 82 years old troubles credulity. A large influence on the decision will also be the movements of the Republican party, where Trump has left no clear successor either. The question will be whether the Republican factions rally around a previously traditional candidate, or if Trump has not been pervasive enough to throw a collaborator, or even one of his own children, into the fray. I believe it would be ignorant to immediately discount the latter, especially given Ivanka Trump’s suitability as a running mate. While he may be defeated, we would be remiss not to understand that the domestic, global and cultural movement President Trump brought with him over 4 years has been more significant than the combined effect of many historic two term Presidents. This is especially with the appointment of three Supreme Court Justices, as well as a long list of smaller circuit judges (which he will hope to augment in his last months in office). Trump’s defeated glance to the White House press corps on his way back from post-election golf, where he learned of Joe Biden’s victory. Timur von Polach is a third year Biological Sciences (Biotechnology) BSc student at the University of Edinburgh.

All of us have had body image issues. Pranavi Hiremath provides reasons for why we should be grateful for them. “I sit in front of my reflection, staring back at me is a body I don’t approve of. I have fallen prey to comparison and a sense of perfection that has led me here, led me to not accept what I have.” All of us have dealt with a sense of incompleteness or dissatisfaction with the way we look. I am not here to say, “don’t compare yourself with others”, “you’re prefect just the way you are”, “embrace your imperfections” because we have heard it all before. Rather, I am here to give you a different perspective about your own body which may help you deal with your insecurities. The human species can hardly distinguish itself from any other species in the animal kingdom in terms of physical capabilities. We aren’t the strongest nor the fastest for example. What distinguishes us and has brought us to where we are today is our mind. Our species is the only one on the planet that has gained intelligence. It is our gift. Our body may not have been designed to fly but our minds have made it possible (technically). There are honey bees that can solve basic math but they don’t know quantum mechanics so, boo you honey bees! The point being, our mind is what distinguishes us. This little box in our skull questions and is trying to figure out the entire freaking universe. The whole cliche about “what is inside is what matters” is true. An example I would like to give is Stephan Hawking. He was diagnosed with motor neurone disease due to which he lost control over his body. Yet with the power of his mind, he was able to revolutionise the field of physics. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just maths and science but our brain is able to make strides in art, literature, engineering, medicine, music, you name it. Just the fact that you are able to read and comprehend these paragraphs already distinguishes you, makes you more mentally capable than any other species on the planet. So it’s really all about your brain. Your body is just a holder for this magnificent creation of nature. So does it really matter what it looks like when it’s the brain that holds true value? If you would like to read more of Pranavi's articles, please visit her website here: https://pranavihiremath.wordpress.com/

Harrison Woodin-Lygo explains the Spring Week finance application process, highlighting the benefits he drew from the experience but its flaws in failing to connect with state-educated students and so growing more in its elitism. At the time of writing this, I am a third year, State Educated Economics Student at the University of Edinburgh. This article expresses an opinion on UK-based Investment Banking Spring Weeks; it should not be considered objective, nor absolute. A Spring Week, also known as an Insight Week, is an official introduction to a firm and a role, offered by most major Investment Banks, Law Firms, Consultancy Firms, and others. It is the first stage for a career in Banking; followed by Summer internships, and then Graduate Analyst Positions. Many Springs convert directly into Summers, locking you into a firm at an early stage. They are highly competitive, with some programmes receiving over 5000 applications for less than 30 places. I was fortunate enough to be selected to participate in a few Banking Spring Weeks; therefore, my opinions in this article are a reflection of my experience and peer sentiment. Despite Coronavirus, I gained a lot from my Spring Weeks. Virtual coffee chats, group pitching projects, and introductory sessions all provided a wealth of insight into the firms. I met great friends and ultimately solidified my aspirations to work within the Investment Banking industry. I even received a hoodie to flex on campus. Win. The opportunity to ‘convert’ all my Springs to Summer internships at assessment centres was offered, to take place before the general Summer application window was even open. As a concept, Spring Weeks are invaluable for a student pursuing a career in Banking. They introduce the firm, the industry, the day-to-day, but they also act as a week-long networking event. One can mingle with students at other Universities and build relationships with bankers already employed at the firm. As the saying goes; It’s not just what you know; it’s who you know. Having someone in your corner come Summer application time is powerful, and whilst networking can result in this opportunity, Spring Weeks provide you with the chance to demonstrate your value to Senior Bankers first-hand. It is the possibility of networking benefits in parallel with those already having access through cronyism, or nepotistic contacts. For most; one would apply for a Spring Week in their first year of University, and to be considered a strong profile they should probably attend a specific set of Universities known as ‘Target Schools’. Target Schools have a legacy of on-campus recruitment for Banking, and as such, they are a target for HR. Edinburgh is considered a semi-target – Prestigious and sufficiently ‘elite’ to allow entry into the firm’s culture, but on-campus recruitment is limited to a select few banks. It is, therefore, proportionately more difficult for an Edinburgh student to be recruited into Banking than it would be for a target student (Oxbridge, LSE, etc.). Of course, one could argue that this has already been considered by those who were genuinely passionate about Banking from a younger age, as they would apply to Target Universities for these career prospects. However, this would not rationalise the disadvantage of those who decided to pursue a Banking career after applying to University. In more recent years, you can see a more concerted effort by Banks to recruit from outside targets, but I noted that during one of my Assessment days I was the only student out of 8 not to attend Oxbridge or LSE. Perhaps this will improve with the current transition towards online recruitment. To get an interview, one must pass a capricious evaluation of a candidate’s prospects, based solely on a 300-word cover letter and a one-page CV. Most applicants are ~18, and many 18-year olds don’t know what they want to do, let alone already have the relevant experience for a strong application. This is the fundamental concern; the system favours ‘the connected’ as they have greater access to experiences. Unfortunately, ‘the connected’ are generally a select group tending to be privately educated. A 2014 Boston Consulting Group study, on behalf of social mobility charity The Sutton Trust, shows that for a lot of British-educated students from state schools, a career in financial services remains out of reach. 70% of those hired into the sector went to a top-30 University, with a large proportion of these going to Oxbridge. Around 42% of Oxbridge students are privately educated, yet they make up 65% of those securing a job in financial services. It is difficult to determine if this fault is inherent to the industry or the result of a systemic flaw. A solution, though only for domestic applicants, is a more concentrated effort to introduce A-Level and Highers students to prestigious careers such as Banking and Law. Some companies (upReach, Generation UK, SEO London, etc.) are already actively offering social mobility platforms for those seeking these careers. Still, not enough is being done to raise interest in the first place. Equality of opportunity is somewhat maintained at the University level if all parties are in the know when starting. The greatest injustice is the pressure of a full commitment from students to a career in Banking within the first two months of starting University. Internships become a metric of success, with many students falling trap to a cultish obsession with Banking. Early exposure to alternate careers paths relieves some of the pressure, but given their social prestige, Banking internships will always be competitive. Spreading the introduction to careers over two years, contrasted with the present 2-month standard, should cultivate a more inclusive, meritocratic internship system. The primary oversight in the above solution is to expect this availability heuristic to be exclusive to UK students. Edinburgh has a broad international student body with many also pursuing a career in the finance industry. From conversations with friends, students do not know the specific sector they wish to work in, and therefore easily miss crucial opportunities to gain exposure. Tunnel vision for Investment Banking leaves other roles unexplored, so students are not only pursuing the most competitive division on paper, they may well be doing it in vain. To be educated on the differences is to return the power to the students applying. Correct exposure is the solution. Spring Weeks are a fantastic platform for a successful career in Finance. Direct conversions and formal introductions are two clear benefits. I do not have any issue with the programmes and content, in fact, quite the opposite - I am very grateful for every opportunity I have had so far! Yet, we must recognise that the current application system is not sufficient. Banks have the responsibility to connect with more schools, especially state schools, using expertise, influence and prominence to create tangible progress towards building awareness of a possible career in Finance. Note: When discussing this article with friends, there were several suggestions for content to include. Popular examples include video interviews (‘Hirevues’) and Minority Programmes. I decided not to comment on these as I do not have sufficient knowledge nor opinions on the matter. It would be interesting to see a follow-up to this article discussing alternate themes.